Who Am I?


I’m a Number One Bowler and a prima donna too,

And I won’t be told where to play by blokes without a clue,

I’m simply just the greatest one to ever roll a bowl,

And when the pennant teams are picked I want a starring role,

Now, the Chairman of Selectors, he said to ME one day,

We’re gonna play you in the lead; like bloody hell I say,

Then later on he winked at me and very slyly beckoned,

There’s been a change of plans he said, we’re gonna play you second.

I let him know he’s got a nerve, and said “Now look here Bub,

If you can’t appreciate my skill I’ll find another club”

So they hold a Special Meeting and pick me number Three,

But I make it pretty plain to them, that is no bloody good to ME.

Another conference then takes place and after all the fun,

They put me where I should have been, a Skipper Number One.

I’m slightly mollified by now and though Skippers get the plums,

It’s still beneath my dignity … to play with all you BUMS.


Provided by Mark Walter